Two Sardarjis, one day, were discussing politics in a bar in Jullundur. Sardar Mohan Singh said, “I think Darbara Singh’s face resembles a sheep’s behind.”
Sardar Sohan Singh drew back his fist and thumped him right on the nose. “Why did you do that for? Are you are Congressman?” asked Sardar Mohan Singh.
“No,” replied Sohan Singh, “I am a shepherd.”
Hi………. ……. Trust the fact???????? ??
This is a real story of a young girl who
passed away last month
in Chandigarh . Her name was Priya. She was hit by a
truck.
She was working in a call centre. She has a boy friend
named Shankar .
Both of them are true lovers. They always hang on the
phone.You can
never see her without her handphone. In fact she
also changed her phone
from Airtel to Hutch, so both of them can be on the
same network, and save on the cost.
She spends half of the day talking with shankar .
Priya’s family knows about their relationship. Shankar
is very close with Priya’s family. (just imagine their
love) . Before she passed away shealways told her
friends “If I pass away please burn me with my
handphone” she also said the same thing to her
parents.
After her death, people cudnt carry her body, I was
there. A lot of
them tried to do so but still cant , everybody
including me, had tried to carry the body, the result
is still the same. Eventually, they called a person
who know to one of their neighbours, who can speak
with the soul of dead person, who is a friend of her
father.
He took a stick and started speaking to himself
slowly…
After a few minutes, he said “this girl misses
something here.” Then her
friends told that person about her intentions to burn
her with her phone..
He then opened the grave box and place her phone and
sim card inside the
casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It
could be moved and
they carried it into the van easily.
All of us were shocked. Priya’s parents did not inform
Shankar that
Priya had passed away.
After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya’s mom…..
Shankar :….”Aunty, I’m coming home today. Cook
something nice for me.
Dont tell Priya that I’m coming home today, I wanna
surprise her.”
Her mother replied….. “You come home first, I wanna
tell you
something very important.”
After he came, they told him the truth about Priya.
Shankar thinks
that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and
said “dont try to
fool me – tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for
her. Please stop
this nonsense”.
Then they show him the original death certificate to
him.
They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar
started to sweat) He
said… “Its not true. We spoke yesterday. She still
calls me.
Shankar was shaking.
Suddenly, Shankar’s phone rang. “see this is from
Priya, see this….”
he showed the phone to priya’s family. all of them
told him to
answer. he talked using the loudspeaker mode.
All of them heard his conversation.
Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming.
It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way
others could use her
sim card since it is nailed.
Inside the grave box they were so shocked and asked
for the same person’s
(who can speak with the soul of deal perosns) help
again. He brought his
master to solve this matter.
He & his master
worked for 5 hours.
Then they discovered one thing which really shocked
them…
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Hutch has the best coverage. Where ever you go, our network follows!!!
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss
are on their way to a meeting.
On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says,
“Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three,
I will allow one wish each”
So the eager senior manager shouted,
“I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries.”
Pfufffff. and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted “I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails.” Pfufffff. and he was also gone.
The boss calmly said,
“I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm.”
Ramankutty Nair, a middle aged Indian immigrant in Dallas, Texas bought a brand new convertible Porsche. He took off down the road and pushed it up to 160 MPH and was enjoying the wind blowing through his (thinning) hair.
“This is great,” he thought and accelerated to an even higher speed. But when he eventually looked in his rear-view mirror there was a Ford Crown Victoria Police Car behind him, blue lights flashing.
“I can get away from him with no problem” thought the man and he floored it some more, and flew down the road at over 210 km/ hr to escape being stopped.
Then he thought, what the hell am I doing? “I’m too old for this kind of thing” and pulled over to the side of the road, and waited for the Police car to catch up with him.
The Policeman pulled in behind the Porsche and walked up on the driver’s side.
“Sir, my Shift ends in five minutes and today is Wednesday 22 November a day before Thanksgiving ” If you can give me a good reason that I’ve never heard before as to why you were speeding, I’ll let you go.”
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The man looked back at the Policeman and said, “Last week my wife, who is from Kerala ran off with an American Policeman and I thought you were bringing her back”. 
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The Policeman said, “Have a nice day, sir” 
“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams If I didn’t drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself,”It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”~ Jack Handy
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
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“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning,that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. “
~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”
~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.”
~ Stephen Wright
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
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“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!”
~ Brian O’Rourke
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
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“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
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“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”
~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
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To some it’s a six-pack, to me it’s a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite s e x without spitting.
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And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here’s how it went:
“Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the! slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way,regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you alwaysfeel smarter after a few beers.”
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.