Funny Emails And Funny Cell Phone Forwards and a bit of Self Improvement Tips For Smart Teenagers
Funny Emails And Funny Cell Phone Forwards and a bit of Self Improvement Tips For Smart Teenagers

Dear Mr. Prime minister

I am a typical mouse from Mumbai. In the local train compartment which has capacity of 100 persons, I travel with 500 more mouse. Mouse at least squeak but we don’t even do that.

Today I heard your speech. In which you said ‘NO BODY WOULD BE SPARED’. I would like to remind you that fourteen years has passed since serial bomb blast in Mumbai took place. Dawood was the main conspirator. Till today he is not caught. All our bolywood actors, our builders, our Gutka king meets him but your Government can not catch him. Reason is simple; all your ministers are hand in glove with him. If any attempt is made to catch him everybody will be exposed. Your statement ‘NOBODY WOULD BE SPARED’ is nothing but a cruel joke on this unfortunate people of India.

Enough is enough. As such after seeing terrorist attack carried out by about a dozen young boys I realize that if same thing continues days are not away when terrorist will attack by air, destroy our nuclear reactor and there will be one more Hiroshima.

We the people are left with only one mantra. Womb to Bomb to Tomb. You promised Mumbaikar Shanghai what you have given us is Jalianwala Baug.

Today only your home minister resigned. What took you so long to kick out this joker? Only reason was that he was loyal to Gandhi family. Loyalty to Gandhi family is more important than blood of innocent people, isn’t it?

I am born and bought up in Mumbai for last fifty eight years. Believe me corruption in Maharashtra is worse than that in Bihar. Look at all the politician, Sharad Pawar, Chagan Bhujbal, Narayan Rane, Bal Thackray , Gopinath Munde, Raj Thackray, Vilasrao Deshmukh all are rolling in money.  Vilasrao Deshmukh is one of the worst Chief minister I have seen. His only business is to increase the FSI every other day, make money and send it to Delhi so Congress can fight next election. Now the clown has found new way and will increase FSI for fisherman so they can build concrete house right on sea shore. Next time terrorist can comfortably live in those house , enjoy the beauty of sea and then attack the Mumbai at their will.

Recently I had to purchase house in Mumbai. I met about two dozen builders. Everybody wanted about 30% in black. A common person like me knows this and with all your intelligent agency & CBI you and your finance minister are not aware of it. Where all the black money goes? To the underworld isn’t it? Our politicians take help of these goondas to vacate people by force. I myself was victim of it. If you have time please come to me, I will tell you everything.

If this has been land of fools, idiots then I would not have ever cared to write you this letter. Just see the tragedy, on one side we are reaching moon, people are so intelligent and on other side you politician has converted nectar into deadly poison. I am everything Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Schedule caste, OBC, Muslim OBC, Christian Schedule caste, Creamy Schedule caste only what I am not is INDIAN. You politician have raped every part of mother India by your policy of divide and rule.

Take example of former president Abdul Kalam. Such a intelligent person, such a fine human being. You politician didn’t even spare him.  Your party along with opposition joined the hands, because politician feels they are supreme and there is no place for good person.

Dear Mr Prime minister you are one of the most intelligent person, most learned person. Just wake up, be a real SARDAR. First and foremost expose all selfish politician. Ask Swiss bank to give name of all Indian account holders. Give reins of CBI to independent agency. Let them find wolf among us. There will be political upheaval but that will better than dance of death which we are witnessing every day.  Just give us ambient where we can work honestly and without fear. Let there be rule of law. Everything else will be taken care of.

Choice is yours Mr. Prime Minister. Do you want to be lead by one person or you want to lead the nation of 100 Crore people?
Prakash B. Bajaj
Editor Mumbai-Times of India

Prime Minister John Howard - Australia

Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia , as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks.

Separately, Howard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation’s mosques. Quote: ‘IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali , we have experienced a surge ! in patriotism by the majority of Australians.’

‘This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom’

‘We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society . Learn the language!’

‘Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Chr! istian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.’

‘We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us.’

‘This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian belief! s, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom, ‘THE RIGHT TO LEAVE’.’

‘If you aren’t happy here then LEAVE. We didn’t force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted.’

Recent Mumbai attack has left Indians shocked. Thanks to those 200 NSG soldiers, who put their life at stake and saved the survivors.

We speak so much about them, I was curious to know about what they do and how they are trained. Searched around and found this interesting link :

http://www.bharat-rakshak.com/LAND-FORCES/Special-Forces/NSG.html

Thanks Bharat Rakshak for a great site :)  .

Quick update. A friend is interested in selling his property in Mysore.

It is located in a very beautiful location with all the ameneties in your fingertips.

Those interested can have a look at the ad for more details :

Site for sale in Viaynagar - Mysore

You can contact the owner over phone - 09886409231

If you are wondering why you should buy house/flat in mysore than bangalore, then here are my reasons:

The property prices in Bangalore are so high that it becomes difficult to afford a good spacious apartment in Bangalore. Mysore has very less traffic, has cleaner air & is better planned than Bangalore.  Mysore has got all the facilities which are needed for a luxurious life. Mysore has swimming pools, race course, zoo, good schools & colleges, sports clubs, good restaurants.

Remember Mysore is a city where  Maharajas lived. Cauvery river, forests & hills are very near to Mysore because of which there are lots and lots of weekend destinations near Mysore unlike Bangalore. Now-a-days lots of IT companies are opening centers in Mysore & I don’t think that it should be difficult for any IT professional to find a good job in Mysore few years down the lane. After the express highway between Mysore and Bangalore gets completed, I don’t think one can afford to buy this kind of property in Mysore!

Offlate I’ve been getting a lot of queries like “Diwali funny mails“, “Deepavali funny emails“, “diwali mails“, “deepawali emails“, “deepawali mails“, “deepavali emails“.

Well I did not have anything specific about this on my blog and thought would put up something for the readers who ended here searching for something about deepavali/diwali.

To start with, I’m sorry, I searched a lot, but could not come with any “Funny diwali / deepavali mails” , but I came across some good diwali SMS’s, posters and reasons to celebrate diwali. I’ll also try and get some snaps of folks enjoying bursting all the crackers on the actual day and try to post it. For now please enjoy with whatever is there in this mail

Its Deepavali ( also known as Diwali ) time in India.

Diwali is “Festival of Lights,” where the lights or lamps signify victory of good over the evil within every human being.

First lets start with 10 Reasons of Diwali Celebration:

All Indians worldwide celebrate diwali every year, but how many of them know the real reasons behind celebrating this great festive time of year? It’s not only about having fun but there are mythical reasons behind celebrating diwali.

1. Goddess Lakshmi’s Birthday: The Goddess of wealth, Lakshmi incarnated on the new moon day (amaavasyaa) of the Kartik month during the churning of the ocean (samudra-manthan), hence the association of Diwali with Lakshmi.
2. Vishnu Rescued Lakshmi: On this very day (Deepawali day), Lord Vishnu in his fifth incarnation as Vaman-avtaara rescued Lakshmi from the prison of King Bali and this is another reason of worshipping Maa Lakshmi on Diwali.
3. Krishna Killed Narakaasur: On the day preceding Diwali, Lord Krishna killed the demon king Narakaasur and rescued 16,000 women from his captivity. The celebration of this freedom went on for two days including the Diwali day as a victory festival.
4. The Return of the Pandavas: According to the great epic ‘Mahabharata’, it was ‘Kartik Amavashya’ when the Pandavas appeared from their 12 years of banishment as a result of their defeat in the hands of the Kauravas at the game of dice (gambling). The subjects who loved the Pandavas celebrated the day by lighting the earthen lamps.
5. The Victory of Lord Shri Ram: According to the epic ‘Ramayana’, it was the new moon day of Kartik when Lord Ram, Ma Sita and Lakshman returned to Ayodhya after vanquishing Ravana and conquering Lanka. The citizens of Ayodhya decorated the entire city with the earthen lamps and illuminated it like never before.
6. Coronation of Vikramaditya: One of the greatest Hindu King Vikramaditya was coroneted on the Diwali day, hence Diwali became a historical event as well.
7. Special Day for the Arya Samaj: It was the new moon day of Kartik (Diwali day) when Maharshi Dayananda, one of the greatest reformers of Hinduism and the founder of Arya Samaj attained his nirvana.
8. Special Day for the Jains: Mahavir Tirthankar, considered to be the founder of modern Jainism also attained his nirvana on Diwali day.
9. Special Day for the Sikhs: The third Sikh Guru Amar Das institutionalized Diwali as a Red-Letter Day when all Sikhs would gather to receive the Gurus blessings. In 1577, the foundation stone of the Golden Temple at Amritsar was laid on Diwali. In 1619, the sixth Sikh Guru Hargobind, who was held by the Mughal Emperor Jahengir, was released from the Gwalior fort along with 52 kings.
10. The Pope’s Diwali Speech: In 1999, Pope John Paul II performed a special Eucharist in an Indian church where the altar was decorated with Diwali lamps, the Pope had a ‘tilak’ marked on his forehead and his speech was bristled with references to the festival of light.

_____________________________________________________________

Now I came across an English Diwali-Deepavali Poem-To Love

Please forgive me if I made a mistake,
I call you and celebrate this diwali,
with you, its the only wish I make

Please Forgive me if I made a Mistake,
It will all dull, all pale,diwali without crackers,
If its your part you did not take…

Please Forgive me if I made a Mistake,
but I waited for year long, for you to celebrate,
Diwali with me, few moments just it take!

Please Forgive me if I made a Mistake,
Its more than Diwali, more than celebrations,
But its my love, which is on stake… !!!

_____________________________________________________________

And also a very good : Deepawali sms scrap - message

Is DIWALI se agli DIWALI tak apko
GHARWALI
BAHARWALI
SABJIWALI
PADOSWALI
COLLEGEWALI
DODHWALI
DILWALI
KAMWALI
FULWALI
sab ka pyar mile
HAPPY DIWALI.

.

_____________________________________________________________

Thats not all, I found some very interesting Deepavali Wallpapers which you can download and use ‘em on your desktop screens:

Over 1.2 billion people, wildly varying cultures, levels of wealthand religions, 61 years since declaring its Independence from English rule, modern India is still defining itself, sometimes against the friction inside and outside of its borders. Recent newsworthy events in India include vast Monsoon flooding, conflicts in still-disputed Kashmir, and religious clashes between Hindus and Christians - and celebrations conducted by Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Sikh and and more. Though there’s no possible way for these images to be comprehensive, here are some recent
[ photos of scenes in India.

View: [ Scenes From India ]

An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the
United Nations Assembly that made the world community
smile……………………
A representative from India began: ‘Before beginning my talk I want to
tell you something about Rishi Kashyap of Kashmir, after whom Kashmir is
named.
When he struck a rock and it brought forth water, he thought, ‘What a
good opportunity to have a bath.’
He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the
water.
When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A
Pakistani had stolen them.’
The Pakistani representative jumped up furiously and shouted, ‘What are
you talking about? The Pakistanis weren’t there then.’
The Indian representative smiled and said, ‘And now that we have made
that clear, I will begin my speech.’
And they say Kashmir belongs to
them……………………………………….

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Airlift is being designed to provide complete comfort and help
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Pricing: We feel that the Normal City Cab from or to the Airport
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Celebrating the “Festival of Lights”

“Deepavali” is a Sanskrit word, which means a range of lights that stands for victory of love over light.

Diwali, Deepavali or Divali is a significant festival of the Hindus. “Deep” means light and Diwali is the “Festival of Lights” where lamps are lit to celebrate the victory of good over evil inciting a new hope for mankind.

The evening of the Diwali festival is gorgeous with a varied display of firecrackers. People wear new clothes and share sweets like ‘khil’ (rice puffs) and patashe (sugar disks) and snacks on Diwali. The houses are cleaned and are decorated with fresh flowers. Many houses display a ‘rangoli’, a colorful pattern drawn in rice flour at the entrance. Puja of deities take place at homes and temples with offerings.

In North India, Goddess Lakshmi and Lord Ganesha are worshipped together for prosperity. Many North Indian business families start their new financial year from Diwali and open new account books. In Eastern part of India, Kali Puja (worshipping Goddess Kali) sometimes coincides with Divali.

The formal name of the festival is Deepavali; in North India it is colloquially called ‘Diwali’. The celebration of the Diwali festival spreads over five consecutive days at the end of the Hindu month Ashwayuja that corresponds to the months of October or November in the Gregorian calendar. The Diwali festival arrives exactly 20 days after Dussehra.

Diwali or Deepawali or the festival of lights is an important and popular festival celebrated throughout the country in one form or the other.

Diwali is associated with several legends. One myth says that on this auspicious day Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth and good fortune roams about and visits the houses of people. Therefore, people tidy up their homes, establishments and shops and decorate them lavishly to welcome the goddess. In the night she is worshipped with great devotion. It is also commemorates the triumph of Lord Rama over Ravana, and Rama returns to Ayodhya. It is also this day that Krishna killed the demon Narkasura

Few days before the festival, the houses are whitewashed and completely cleaned. The courtyards, the gates and the place of worship are decorated with bandanvars, flowers intricate colored paperwork and at night every nook and corner of the house, etc., is illuminated with earthen lamps, candles, and fireworks are displayed. People get up early in the morning and have bath and then move about freely in an atmosphere of gaiety, mirth, rejoicing and festivity. Lots of sweets are prepared and exchanged.

On this occasion people ask for each other’s forgiveness for the wrongs done knowingly or unknowingly and mutual relations are reestablished and strengthened. Thus, all enmity is forgiven and forgotten and people embrace one another. At night, Lakshmi along with Ganesha is worshipped, old accounts are closed and new ones are opened. People in throngs go about the bazaars and streets during the night and appreciate the finest illumination. Special shops and bazaars are also set up on this occasion, and there is a brisk buying of sweets, utensils, clothes, jewellery, toys etc.

The Origin of the Diwali festival
There are several legends and beliefs regarding the origin of Deepavali. The most popular one says that Diwali marks the time when Lord Rama achieved victory over Ravana. Some people believe Diwali marks the day when Lord Krishna defeated Narakasura. Another story suggests Diwali as the day when Bali returned to rule the nether world obeying the order of Vishnu. The Diwali festival is probably rooted in ancient harvest celebrations.

The Five-Day Diwali Celebration
In North India, Diwali is celebrated for 5 days. Divali is a new moon day, which marks the last day of a 15 day half lunar month. The second half lunar month starts off from Diwali.

Dhan Teras
“Dhan Teras” or “Dhan Trayodoshi” is the 13th day of the second half of the lunar month. ‘Dhan’ is wealth and ‘Trayodoshi’ means “13th day”. This holyday is considered auspicious for shopping.

Naraka Chaturdasi
This is the 14th day of the second half of the lunar month. Naraka means “of a new era of Light and Knowledge” and Chaturdasi means the “14th day”.

Diwali
Diwali is the third day of the 5 days. In Diwali, the moon completely disappears and the sky becomes pitch black.

Varsha-Pratipada
Pratipada means the first. This day signifies beginning of the New Year.

Bhayiduj
This is the last day of the festival when the brothers and sisters meet and express their love and affection for each other.

1) Qus. : What are you doing?

Ans.: Business.
Tax: PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?
Ans.: Selling the Goods.
Tax: PAY SALES TAX!!

3) Qus. : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans.: From other State/Abroad
Tax: PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI  !

4) Qus. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans.: Profit.
Tax: PAY INCOME TAX!

5) Qus. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans.: Factory.
Tax: PAY EXCISE DUTY!

6) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

7) Qus. : Do you have Staff?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!
Qus. : Doing business in Millions?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY TURNOVER TAX!

9) Qus. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans.: Yes, for Salary.
Tax: PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

10) Qus. : Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans.: Hotel
Tax: PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

11) Qus. : Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!

12) Qus. : Have you taken or given any Service/s?
Ans.: Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!

13) Qus. : How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans.: Gift on birthday.
Tax: PAY GIFT TAX!

14) Qus. : Do you have any Wealth?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY WEALTH TAX!

15) Qus. : To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans.: Cinema or Resort.
Tax: PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

16) Qus. : Have you purchased House?
Ans.: Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !

17) Qus. : How you Travel?
Ans.: Bus
Tax: PAY SURCHARGE!

18) Qus. : Any Additional Tax?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL &  SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.’s TAX !!!

19) Qus. : Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY INTEREST & PENALTY…