A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning, the wife (undoubtedly blonde also), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, “How should I know, that’s 200 miles from here!” and hung up.
The husband said, “Who was that?”
The wife said, “I don’t know, some woman wanting to know ‘if the coast is clear.’
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Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, “Hmm, this person looks familiar.”
The second blonde says, “Here,let me see!”
So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, “You dummy, it’s me!”
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A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her own head.
The boyfriend yells, “No, honey, don’t do it!”
The blonde replies, “Shut up, you’re next!”
***************
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
“Is it mine?”
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