A common observation reveals that when something affects a woman, a string of sparkling pearls always decorates her hazel eyes. Being a man, I wonder if men ever cry like the women do. I believe that crying does not epitomize one as a weaker sex, but instead symbolizes the courage one has to express his/her emotions without any fear.
It is said men never cry because they tend to believe they’re the proficient ones. They’re strong and the ability to cope with tough situations with ease seems to come naturally to them. What many don’t know is that men tend to be the “silent mourners†who immerse themselves in work deeply in order to hide their grief from others, especially from women. This can be seen as the aftermath of the rules that have already been created by the society.
At an early age they’re taught to be strong and often given the advice to hide their grief from others because there is a famous saying “Big Boys Never Cry.†But let’s not forget that men are human beings and they also experience the same emotions faced by a woman. Men have deep feelings but don’t express it openly; instead they try to deal with their true feelings by redirecting their energies. A shoulder to cry on tends to give more comfort to any individual when the grief becomes unbearable but the pressure to be self-sufficient always stops a man from seeking help from others.
While being “A Man†is one of the main reasons for a man not to cry, I’ve also observed that men think/believe that crying in public is creating nuisance. What I really fail to understand is that, why one would or one should really bother what the public thinks. You are emotional about events happening in your life. The public should not be the ones who control your emotions. You should be the one who takes hold of your emotions and act as the situation demands.
Is it always right to follow the social rules created by the society while trying to hide expressing one’s emotions? Hiding the tears and to remain cloistered up, is it the right thing to do? Personally I feel when a man cries or let’s out his emotions it makes them more lovable than ever!
Have you ever given it a thought that why a man always restricts himself to a handshake rather than a hug? (I’m talking about average Indians here btw) The social dogma or the rules created by the society tells him that if a man shows his human side to some one then he is a being a emotional wreck or is not fit to be called a “man†in true sense!
The gender bias created by the norms or us and the fact that they are expected them to follow is uncouth, as it is hampering their life in many ways but seems unnoticed. Shedding tears is part of natural healing process in ones life and you should not stop accepting it.
We all grieve despite of our gender or religion; we cry when we are sad or shed few droplets when we are happy. Hence we all need to be supportive accept this gift. Crying is not a crime but hiding your real feelings and remain in disguised is a sin, which should never be forgiven.
If you continue not to express your emotions, it might lead to a lot of other problems. One of the other serious problems associated with not letting your emotions flow out is that you might tend to get angry for unnecessary things. The anger management article I had written about some time ago speaks about this.