Two Sardarjis, one day, were discussing politics in a bar in Jullundur. Sardar Mohan Singh said, “I think Darbara Singh’s face resembles a sheep’s behind.”
Sardar Sohan Singh drew back his fist and thumped him right on the nose. “Why did you do that for? Are you are Congressman?” asked Sardar Mohan Singh.
“No,” replied Sohan Singh, “I am a shepherd.”
A recently arrived Sardar in the US, wanting to earn some money,
decides to become a ‘handy-man’ and starts looking for some work in
an upmarket colony nearby. He goes to the front door of the nearest
house and asks the owner, another Indian, if he had any odd jobs for
him to do.
“Well, you can paint my porch,” the owner says.
The Sardar responds, “How about $50?” The owner says “Fine – there’s
a can of brown paint and brushes in the garage.”
The owner’s wife, inside the house, overhearing the conversation says
to her husband, “Does he realise that the porch goes all around the
house? That’s a whole day’s job”
The man replies, “He should; he was standing on it. Do you think he’s
dumb?” “No, I don’t think so. I guess I’m just influenced by those
stupid Surd email jokes we keep receiving.”
A short time later, the Sardar comes to the door and asks for the $
50. “You’ve finished already?” the husband asks. “Yes,” he replies,
“and there was paint left over, so I gave it two coats.”
Impressed, the man reaches into his pocket for the money and hands it to him.
And by the way,” the Turbanator adds, “it’s not a Porch, it’s a BMW!”
Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, “Pass the wine you divine”.
Sardar thinks “how poetic”
Sardar says, “pass the custard you bastard”.
*******
Sardar at bar in New York.
Man on his right says “Johny Walker single”
Man on his left says “Peter Scotch single”
Sardar says – “Baljith Singh Married”
*******
Boss : I am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k…….but? ?
How much is DRIVING salary…?
*******
Sardar’s theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at night when light is needed
& Sun gives light during the day when light is not needed!!!
*******
2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the other to check whether its working,
He puts his head out and says YES…NO…YES. ..NO…YES. ..NO…
*******
Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It’s already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ______
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ________
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote ‘DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!’
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ________
Postman: – I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: – why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it….
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ________
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How’ll U divide your kids, U’VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We’ll apply NEXT YEAR
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
Sardar’s wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ________
A Teacher lecturing on population:
‘In India after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. ‘
A Sardar stands up- ‘We must find & stop her!. ‘
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
A man: ‘Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?’
Sardarji: ”Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM”.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ________
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says ‘CHIN YU YAN’ and dies.
Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend’s last Words.
And finds It means ‘U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!’
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing.
He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ________
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what…
To avoid side effects!!!
____________ _________ _________ _________
Man: Sardarji where were U born?
Sardarji: Punjab .
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar’.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ________
Lawyer to Sardar: ‘Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke…… ‘
Sardar :’Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!’
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
A Sardar saw a beautiful girl… He went and kissed her….
Girl said- ‘What R U doing…?’
Sardar replied- ‘ B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigar’
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ________
Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
I don’t know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says ‘please recharge your card’
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, ‘For Best Results put on Two Coats’
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ________
A sardar was drawing money from ATM,
The sardar behind him in the line said, ‘Ha! Ha! Haaa! I’ve seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). ‘
The first sardar replies, ‘Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258′
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________
Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard.. . BOLO tarara!!
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ________
Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?
A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept……. .
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
Santa Singh MBBS
After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.
He checked his first patient’s Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.
Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!