Cute feeling..:
My hands never pain
when typing message for you..!!
But my heart always pain
when there is no reply
from you..!!
Why Government do NOT
allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per Constitution,
you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE
for the same Mistake.
A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.
We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car that will take 5 years to pay off.
We demand speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won’t buy a car if it can’t go over 100 miles an hour.
We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and National Leagues but mumble through half the words in the “Star Spangled Banner”.
We’ll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer, then drive 90 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for lost time.
We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen year old son run wild.
We whip an enemy in battle, then give them the shirt off our backs.
We will work hard on a farm so we can move into town where we can make more money so we can move back to the farm.
We get upset we’re spending over a billion dollars for education, but spend three billion dollars a year for cigarettes.
In the office we talk about baseball, shopping or fishing, but when we are out at the game, the mall or on the lake, we talk about business.
We’re supposed to be the most civilized nation on earth, but we still can’t deliver payrolls without an armored car.
We have more experts on marriage than any other country in the world and still have more divorces.
We’re the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world and more diets to keep us from eating it.
** You! Out of the gene pool!
** You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me
** Earth is full, go home
** I have the body of a god……..Buddha
** This would be really funny if it weren’t happening to me
** I used to be disgusted now I’m just amused
** Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult
** If ‘progress’ means to move forward, what does ‘congress’ mean?
** If we quit voting, will they all go away?
** Politics – from the word “Poly,” meaning “many,” and “Ticks,” as in “small, blood-sucking parasites”
** The face is familiar but i can’t quite remember my name
** He who dies with the most toys…still dies
** Eat right, exercise, die anyway
** Illiterate? Write for help
** Honk if anything falls off
** Cover me, I’m changing lanes
** He who laughs last thinks slowest
** He who hesitates is not only lost but miles from the next exit
** I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person
** This isn’t my idea of a good time
** It’s been lovely, but I have to scream now
** Uniquely maladjusted, but fun
** This bumper sticker exploits illiterates
** Visualize using your turn signals
** I haven’t lost my mind it’s backed up on disk somewhere
** Oh, evolve!
** Gone crazy be back shortly
** If you’re not outraged you’re not paying attention
** I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to
“They say Pakistanis are prospecting for oil in Sindh and Punjab. Is that true?”
“Yes, but not to get petrol to run motor cars. Only grease for palms of politicians and ministers.” said someone 
After discovering that her barn had burned down, Sue went to town to collect the insurance.
She told the insurance company, “We had that barn insured for fifty-thousand dollars and I want my money.”
The agent replied, “Whoa there, just a minute, Sue. Insurance doesn’t work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth.”
There was a long pause before Sue replied, “Well, then I’d like to cancel the policy on my husband.”
Webster’s Windows95 Definition:
Windows95 (win’do s 95): n. A 32 bit extensions and graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that can’t stand 1 bit of competition.
“I have a great diet. You’re allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.” – Ed Bluestone
“Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a moron.” – George Carlin
“You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.” – Ellen DeGeneris
“Don’t spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They’ll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents.” – Billiam Coronel
“I’m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Dave Edison
“Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.” – Steve Bluestone
“I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.” – Rita Rudner
Just when the audiences started queuing up for booking their tickets for Aamir Khan-starrer Ghajini, a chain SMS started playing spoilsport by revealing what could possibly be the climax of the film.
“Someone killed Aamir’s girlfriend and he lost his memory. Then he tries to find out the killer. Suspens… Aamir himself is the killer. Now enjoy Ghajini!” says the SMS that has been doing the rounds on the mobile phones for the past few days.
Whether the SMS is true would only be clear once the film releases on Thursday. However, several people have received this SMS through known as well as unknown sources.
Says 22-year-old Surbhi Pant: “I received this SMS a few days back. I was very irritated after reading it because I wanted to watch the film. Now I don’t know if it is true or not. Just in case this is the story of the film, I would be really disappointed, as I know the plot now. Eventually, I thought I should forward it to all my friends.”
The film is the much-hyped Hindi remake of director A.R. Murugadoss’ Tamil hit with the same name.
While the original “Ghajini” featured southern actor Surya Sivakumar along with actress Asin Thottumkal, Murugadoss cast Aamir to play the main lead in the Hindi version and repeats Asin in female lead.
Ghajini is the love story of a rich businessman Sanjay Singhania (Aamir) and a model Kalpana (Asin). The story takes a U-turn when Kalpana is murdered and Sanjay suffers temporary amnesia due to a brain injury. Sanjay’s character sets out to take revenge from those responsible for Kalpana’s death.
While in the Tamil version of Ghajini, Sanjay finds the murderer and completes his revenge by killing him; the ending has been altered in the Hindi version.
If this is true, would you still go for Ghajini?
MEN-opause,
MEN-strual pain,
MEN-tal illness,
GUY-necologist,
HIS-terectomy.
Ever noticed how most women’s problems start with men ?? 