A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs, he […]
A guy walks into a bar and asks for three beers. The bartender puts them up and then watches the guy go through a peculiar ritual. “Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, happy birthday” Each time he says the word he drinks the beer. Then he pays and walks out.
One year later he enters the bar again […]
There were 3 high school-aged boys walking down the street in Washington. Suddenly, they see Bill Clinton go jogging by, and
he’s about to be hit by a car. So, they pull Bill out of the way and save his life. Bill says “Thank you for saving my life.
I’ll grant each of you one wish.”
The first […]
25 Signs that you may have had too much to drink.
1.) You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
2.) You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
3.) Job interfering with you’re drinking.
4.) Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
5.) Career won’t progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.
6.) The back […]
There was a Jew and a Chinese sitting at the bar drinking. All of a sudden the Jew turns and punches the Chinese in the face knocking him off his stool, stunned the Chinese gets up and says, “What the hell was that for?”
The Jew replies, “That was for Pearl Harbor.”
The Chinese says, “That was […]