The homepage of Sex Addicts Anonymous

Useful Tool for Self-Assessment

Answer these twelve questions to assess whether you may have a problem with sexual addiction.

1. Do you keep secrets about your sexual or romantic activities from those important to you? Do you lead a double life?
2. Have your needs driven you to have sex in places or situations or with people you would not normally choose?
3. Do you find yourself looking for sexually arousing articles or scenes in newspapers, magazines, or other media?
4. Do you find that romantic or sexual fantasies interfere with your relationships or are preventing you from facing problems?
5. Do you frequently want to get away from a sex partner after having sex? Do you frequently feel remorse, shame, or guilt after a sexual encounter?
6. Do you feel shame about your body or your sexuality, such that you avoid touching your body or engaging in sexual relationships? Do you fear that you have no sexual feelings, that you are asexual?
7. Does each new relationship continue to have the same destructive patterns which prompted you to leave the last relationship?
8. Is it taking more variety and frequency of sexual and romantic activities than previously to bring the same levels of excitement and relief?
9. Have you ever been arrested or are you in danger of being arrested because of your practices of voyeurism, exhibitionism, prostitution, sex with minors, indecent phone calls, etc.?
10. Does your pursuit of sex or romantic relationships interfere with your spiritual beliefs or development?
11. Do your sexual activities include the risk, threat, or reality of disease, pregnancy, coercion, or violence?
12. Has your sexual or romantic behavior ever left you feeling hopeless, alienated from others, or suicidal?

If you answered yes to more than one of these questions, we would encourage you to seek out additional literature as a resource or to attend a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting to further assess your needs.

At the outset do not be too worried about this big question – Truth.

It is a very simple matter if each one of you starts with the desire to get as much as possible. No human being is constituted to know the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth; and even the best of men must be content with fragments, with partial glimpses, never the full fruition.

In this unsatisfied quest the attitude of mind, the desire, the thirst – a thirst that from the soul must rise! – is the fervent longing, are the be-all and end-all. What is the student but a lover courting a fickle mistress who ever eludes his grasp?

In this very elusiveness is brought out his second great characteristic – steadfastness of purpose. Unless from the start the limitations incident to our frail human faculties are frankly accepted, nothing but disappointment awaits you.

The truth is the best that you can get with your best endeavour, the best that the best men accept – with this you must learn to be satisfied, retaining at the same time with due humility an earnest desire for an ever larger portion. Only by keeping the mind plastic and receptive does the student escape perdition.

Let me read you a quotation from old Burton, the great authority on morbi eruditorum.

There are “many reasons why students dote more than others.

The first is their negligence; others look to their tools,

a painter will wash his pencils, a smith will look to his hammer, anvil, forge;

a husbandman will mend his plough-irons, and grind his hatchet, if it be dull;

a falconer or huntsman will have an especial care of his hawks, hounds, horses, dogs, etc.;

a musician will string and unstring his lute, etc.;

only scholars neglect that instrument, their brain and spirits (I mean) which they daily use.”

“Bodily” virtue of imperturbability or “a judicious measure of obtuseness.” This means the outward expression of calmness and coolness, even under difficult circumstances.

The complementary “mental” virtue is aequanimitas, which is the personal quality of calmly accepting whatever comes in life.

Prime Minister John Howard – Australia

Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia , as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks.

Separately, Howard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation’s mosques. Quote: ‘IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali , we have experienced a surge ! in patriotism by the majority of Australians.’

‘This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom’

‘We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society . Learn the language!’

‘Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Chr! istian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.’

‘We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us.’

‘This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian belief! s, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom, ‘THE RIGHT TO LEAVE’.’

‘If you aren’t happy here then LEAVE. We didn’t force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted.’

At cattlefair there were a large number of prized cows and buffaloes for sale. A man desirous of buying a good buffalo approached a farmer who had a pair of fine-looking animals. The buyer could not make up his mind which one to buy; so he asked the owner the price of one as he patted it on the rump.

“This one whill be Rs 5000,” replied the owner. “She is young, will calve every year and is guaranteed to yield 10 ilos of creamy milk every day.”

The price seemed a bit on th higher side so the would-be purchaser patted the other beast and asked: “How much for this one?”

“This will be Ts 10,000. She is middle aged, has never borne a calf, nor ever will. Her udders remain untouched by human hands.”

Flabbergasted with the reply, the purchaser demanded: “What kind of cattle-dealer are you? For a barren buffalo you ask double the price of one that yields.”

For which the cattle dealer replied “Janaab, character bhee tho koi cheez hai (Sir, there is such a thing as good character also )”

Monica married Hitesh this day. At the end of the wedding party, Monica’s mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook. With Rs.1000 deposit amount.
Mother: ‘Monica, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there’s something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it’s about next to the line.
The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I’ve done the first one for you today. Do the others with Hitesh.When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you’ve had.’
Monica shared this with Hitesh when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made.
This was what they did after certain time:
- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage
- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Monica
- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali
- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Monica got pregnant
- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Hitesh got promoted
….. and so on…
However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things.They didn’t talk much. They regretted that they had married the most nasty people in the world…. no more love…Kind of typical nowadays, huh?
One day Monica talked to her Mother:
‘Mom, we can’t stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can’t imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!’
Mother: ‘Sure, girl, that’s no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can’t stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn’t keep any record of such a poor marriage.’
Monica thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account.
While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home.
When she was home, she handed the passbook to Hitesh, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.
The next day, Hitesh gave the passbook back to Monica. She found a new deposit of Rs.5000.
And a line next to the record: ‘This is the day I notice how much I’ve loved you thru out all these years. How much happiness you’ve brought me.’
They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe.
I don’t know how much they saved .I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru all the good years in their life.
“When you fall, in any way,  Don’t see the place where you fell, Instead see the place from where you slipped.
Life is about correcting mistakes.”

An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice… “Let me tell you a story.”

“I too, at times, have felt great hate for those who have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It’s like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times. ”

“It is as if there are two wolves inside me; one is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.”

“But…the other wolf… Ah! The littlest thing will send him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all of the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing.”

“Sometimes it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit.”

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather’s eyes and asked, “Which one wins, Grandfather ?”

The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, “The one I feed.”

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm.
He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods.

He Practiced in the woods, but he could never hit the target. Getting
A little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was
Walking back he saw Grandma’s pet duck.

Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck
Square in the head, and killed it. He was shocked and grieved.

In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to see
His sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.

After lunch the next day Grandma said, ” Sally, let’s wash the
Dishes.” But Sally said, ” Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in
The kitchen.” Then she whispered to him, “Remember the duck ?” So
Johnny did the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go
Fishing and Grandma said, ” I’m sorry but I need Sally to help make
Supper.” Sally just smiled and said,” Well that’s all right because Johnny told
Me he wanted to help.” She whispered again, ” Remember the duck?” So Sally
Went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.

After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally’s,
He finally couldn’t stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck. Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug, and said, ” Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long
You would let Sally make a slave of you.”

Thought for the day and every day thereafter?

Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done… And the devil
Keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad
Habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.) ….whatever it is….You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing….. He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven.

He’s just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave
Of you.

The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness, He
Not only forgives you, but He forgets . It is by God’s grace and
Mercy that we are saved .

Always remember:  God is at the window.