Funny Emails, Funny Cell Phone Forwards, Funny SMS, Funny Quotes, Funny Poems
Funny Emails, Funny Cell Phone Forwards, Funny SMS, Funny Quotes, Funny Poems

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like.You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don’t recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job… and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn’t. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you’re doing this because you know that you aren’t a bad person. You want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.You begin to think a companion for life is better than a hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind standing tall for that special someone which otherwise you had never thought of until now.You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself… and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it.We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends…. maybe it will help someone feel like they aren’t alone in their state of confusion…

We call it the “Quarter-life Crisis”

Recently I mentioned about how ruthless Bangalore cops have become. I mean Bangalore is a place to have fun, and just because they are not in a position to improve the security around the town, they’ve started imposing rules. Is this, the real meaning of freedom ? Incompetent and corrupted Police department I’d say, infact I’d point out it’s the same everywhere in India.

They end up catching petty cases like this one :

A 26-year-old woman from Bangalore, who married 10 men over a decade only to leave them after allegedly decamping with their valuables, has landed in police net.

Kausar Begum and her parents were nabbed by the Mumbai police after one of her husbands approached the police, saying she had taken all valuables from his house. “So far, we have been able to verify five cases and further investigations are on,” police officials said.

Begum would allegedly target businessmen and after befriending them would get married to them. However, after spending a brief period she would take all the cash and valuables and leave, police said.

In order to prevent her husbands from targeting her, Begum would threaten them telling them that she would file a case of harassment for dowry if they pursued the matter. The family may have cheated many to the tune of lakhs of rupees.

The police have booked Kausar Begum and her parents  for cheating.

And were silent when the Pak terrorists had taken over Taj, VT and other places ! Good for nothing xxxxxxx !

PS: Before you start defending Indian Cops, I’m a true INDIAN and every inch of me is Banaglorean ! I know what I am speaking and you too know that this is the truth !

When there is no friend,
When life is on the dead end,
When world is not a paradise,
When your confidence dies,
Tell yourself – Go on, THIS IS LIFE!

When things don’t go right,
When there is no ray of light,
And it’s too hard to survive,
Tell yourself – Go on, THIS IS LIFE!

When there is competition to face,
When you are lagging behind in the race,
When you’ve lost faith in God,
When you’re betrayed by a fraud,
Tell yourself – Go on, THIS IS LIFE!

When others don’t respect you,
When you’re not amongst the admirable few,
When for a question, you can’t find a solution,
When all you’re sure about, is confusion,
Tell yourself – Go on, THIS IS LIFE!

When your destination is miles apart,
When you don’t know where to start,
When all you see around is pain,
When your hard work is in vain,
Tell yourself – Go on, THIS IS LIFE!

Even though all this happens just have faith in self,

and face the life with smile,
things will surely change one day because,

as said “THIS IS LIFE … »

This is a beautiful article:

The woman in your life…very well expressed…

Tomorrow you may get a working woman; butyou should marry her with
these facts as well.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as
you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or
your Sister haven’t, as she was busy in studies and competing in a
system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary
achievements

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost
as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people
who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your
family ,name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while
you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances,
environment and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and
cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are,
maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain;
to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn’t want
to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her;
and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won’t like it if
she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than  you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even
men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and
yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your
irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent
insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won’t,
simply Because you won’t like it, even though you say otherwise

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just
like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most
important, relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you
just help her some and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she
knows in your entire house – your unstinted support, your
sensitivities and most importantly – your understanding, or love, if
you may call it.

But not many guys understand this……

Please appreciate “HER”

Send this to all girls to make their day and to all guys who can
handle it…….

* No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.

* When your Mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.

* If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.

* Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato.

* You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.

* Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.

* Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

* Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.

* Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.

* School lunches stick to the wall.

* You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

* Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. No matter how cute the underwear is.

The team from TheBlackPawn wishes all the readers a very happy new year. We hope and pray that all your wishes for good, come true and help you prosper and grow to levels where you can help the others in need.

We had a post on resolution for the year 2007. Which still holds good. See if your new year resolutions matches ours.

After preschool the road of life keeps getting bumpier and bumpier and bumpier. Angela Martin, age 11

Never blow in a cat’s ear because if you do, usually after three or four times, they will bite your lips! And they don’t let go for at least a minute. Lisa Coburn, age 9

Don’t think life is easy, because when you get older it is hard work. I used to think life was easy, now I have to do the dishes every other day. Nick Coleman, age 9
Take risks. I mean, if you like this person and you don’t know if they like you, ask them out and see what happens. I liked this girl and I asked her out. She said no and she hates me now, but I took that risk. Bruce Wagner, age 13

A realist is more correct about things in life than an optimist. But the optimist seems to have more friends and much more fun. Megan, age 14

When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions. When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting. Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand. Someday we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction. A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go. Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil. Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don’t why you should. Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they’re there. Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it’s brother against brother.

Hi All,
You are going to love Indian men for thinking this way!!! Really worth
the read…one of the BEST e-mails I’ve received in a long time!!

It seems that an article was written to a well-founded magazine, by an
English woman who requested a response from Indian men. I’m so glad she got
what she asked for (and more)!!!

This letter was written in response to the following article:

Dear Editor:

I’m sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Indian male readers. I
am a White female who is engaged to an Indian male, good-looking, educated
and loving. I just don’t understand a lot of Indian female’s attitudes
about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings
amongst Indian women were slim to none. As he said they were either
too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too
materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage. Before I became engaged,
whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Indian men, willing to
wine and dine me and give me the world If Indian women are so up in arms
about us being with their men, why don’t they look at themselves and make
some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when
we’re out in public. I would like to hear from some Indian men about why we
white women are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left
his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the
model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones,
Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don
Cornelius,Berry Gordy, BillyBlanks, Larry Fishburne, Jesley Snipes…I
could go on and on.
But,right now, I’m a little angry and that is why I wrote this so
hurriedly. Don’t be mad with us White women because so many of your men
want us.

Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your
men better. If I’m wrong, Indian men, let me know.

Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA.

—————————————————————–

The Response:

Dear Editor:

I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.

Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old Indian man. I studied from
one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a
Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a
major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider
myself to be among the ranks of successful Non-White men. I will not use my
precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record
straight of why Indian men date white women.

Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why Indian men dated white
women was because they were considered easy. The Indian girls in my
neighborhood were raised traditionally. They were very strict about when
they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our
impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up
easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls. Nowadays,
in my opinion, a lot of Indian males date white women because they are
docile and easy to control. A lot of Indian men, because of insecurities,
fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of
our Indian women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than
us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses.
Because of this fear, many Indian men look for a more docile woman. Someone
we can control. I have talked to numerous Indian men and they continuously
comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women.

I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to
know that not all successful Indian men date white women. Non-Whites like
Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestn! ut,Will
Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth ‘Babyface’ Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and
Chris Rock all married strong Non-White women. And, to flip the script,
there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or
secretly desire Non-White women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert
DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few. I just don’t want the ‘Disgusted
White Girl’ to be misinformed.

Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess.
Remember, when Non-White Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were
ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of
Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs.
Read your history! It was the Non-White woman that taught you how to cook
and season your food. It was the Non-White woman that taught you how to
raise your children. It was Non-White women who were raising
your babies during slavery. It is the Non-White woman that had to endure
watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown
in jail.

Indian women were born with two strikes against them: being Non-White and
being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise!

It is because of the Indian women’s strength, elegance, power, love and
beauty that I could never date anyone except my Indian Queen. It is not
just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the
fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colours and shades that I love
them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about Indian women.
Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability
to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they
believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest
potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in
love with Indian women.

I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy
than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to
tanning salons to darken your skin. If you are so proud to be white, then
why don’t you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to
inject your lips unnatural and dangerous substances
so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is
really a result of you wanting to have what the Non-White woman has.

BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over
and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for
a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my
children. Someone who can be my best friend and understand my struggles. I
am looking for a soul mate and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit
the bill.

No offense taken, none given.
Signed,
Indian Royalty.

This is the True Story

A son says to his father: ‘Dad, would you be willingly to run a
marathon with me?’

The father, despite his age and a heart disease, says ‘YES’.

And they run that marathon, together.

The son asks: ‘Dad, can you run another marathon with me?’ Again
father says ‘YES’.

They run another marathon, together.

One day the son asks his father: ?Dad would please do the Iron Man with me?’

Now just in case you wouldn’t know, ‘The Iron Man’ is the toughest
triathlon in existence; 4km swimming, then 180 km by bike, and finally
another 42 km running, in one stroke.

Again father says ‘YES’

Maybe this doesn’t ‘touch’ you yet by heart … until you see this

movie (put on sound!):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJMbk9dtpdY

Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gate by St. Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper. St. Peter says “Well, Forrest, it’s certainly good to see you. We have heard so many good things about you. I must inform you that the Place is filling up fast, and we’ve been giving an entrance quiz for Everyone. The tests are short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven.

Forrest responds “It sure is good to be here, St. Peter. I was looking Forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. Sure hope the Test ain’t too hard; Life was a big enough test as it was.

St. Peter goes on, “I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions: 1. What days of the week begin with the letter T? — 2. How many seconds are there in a year? 3. What is God’s first name?”

Forrest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next day and Goes up to St.. Peter to try to answer the exam questions.

St. Peter waves him up and says, “Now that you have had a chance to think The questions over, tell me your answers”.

Forrest says, “Well, the first one how many days of the week begin with the Letter “T?” “Shucks, that one’s easy. That’d be Today and Tomorrow.”

The Saint’s eyes open wide and he exclaims “Forrest! That’s not what I was Thinking, but…you do have a point though, and I guess I didn’t specify, so I will give you credit for that answer.” “How about the next one?” “How Many seconds in a year?”

“Now that one’s harder” says Forrest, “but I thought and thought about that And I guess the only answer can be twelve.” Astounded, St. Peter says “Twelve! Twelve! Forrest, how in Heaven’s name could you come up with twelve Seconds in a year?”

Forest says “Aw, come on, St Peter, there’s gotta be twelve, January second, February second, March second. . “

“Hold it” interrupts St. Peter. “I see where you’re going with it. I guess I See your point, though that wasn’t quite what I had in mind, but I’ll give You credit for that one too. Let’s go on with the next and final question. Can you tell me God’s first name?”

Forrest replied, “Andy.”

When St. Peter asked how in the world he came up with the name Andy.

Forrest replied, “You know, St. Peter, that song we sing in church: “Andy Walks with me, Andy talks with me.”

The lesson: THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER POINT OF VIEW, and just because another Person doesn’t see things the same way or understand the same way that you Do, does not mean that it’s wrong.

Title quote: Jenny McCarthy of Northwest Washington.