free hit counters
 
 
 
 
 

A lady tells her husband to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. He walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees beautiful woman and strikes up a conversation. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment. After they’ve had their fun, he realizes its 3am and says,

“Oh no! It’s so late. My wife’s going to kill me. Have you got any talcum powder?” She gives him some talcum powder, which he precedes to rub on his hands and then goes home. His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty angry.

“Where have you been?” Well, honey, it’s like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking girl there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her.

“Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!”
She sees his hands are covered with powder and says…
“You big fat liar!!! You were playing pool again !!!

Moral of the story:
(1) Always tell your wife the truth.
(2) She will never believe you anyway.
(3) At least your conscience will be clear :) .

Formation of Male / Female brains

Cell Migration Scientific Author Unknown

All babies start out with the same number of raw cells which, over nine months, develop into a complete female baby.

The problem occurs when cells are instructed by the little chromosomes to make a male baby instead.

Because there are only so many cells to go around, the cells necessary to develop a male’s reproductive organs have to come from cells already assigned elsewhere in the female.

Recent tests have shown that these cells are removed from the communications centre of the brain, migrate lower in the body and develop into male sexual organs.

If you visualize a normal brain to be similar to a full deck of cards, this means that males are born a few cards short, so to speak. And some of their cards are in their shorts.

This difference between the male and female brain manifests itself in various ways.

Little girls will tend to play things like house or learn to read.

Little boys, however, will tend to do things like placing a bucket over their heads and running into walls.

Little girls will think about doing things before taking any action.

Little boys will just punch or kick something and will look surprised if someone asks them why they just punched their little brother who was half asleep and looking the other way.

This basic cognitive difference continues to grow until puberty, when the hormones kick into action and the trouble really begins. After puberty, not only the size of the male and female brains differs, but the centre of thought also differs

Women think with their heads.

Male thoughts often originate lower in their bodies where their ex-brain cells reside.

Of course, the size of this problem varies from man to man.

In some men only a small number of brain cells migrate and they are left with nearly full mental capacity but they tend to be rather dull, sexually speaking.

Such men are known in medical terms as “Accountants.”

Other men suffer larger brain cell relocation. These men are medically referred to as “Engineers.”

A small number of men suffer massive brain cell migration to their groins.

These men are usually referred to as…..

“Mr. President”

1. Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
2. Is your daddy a theif? Then who stole the sparkle of the stars and put them into your eyes?
3. Will you go out with me?………. to McDonald’s? +
4. Can I flirt with you?
5. Blonde, James Blonde… Jr. =
6. I looked up the word BEAUTIFUL in the thesaurus taday, and your name was included.
7. I’ve had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So…
would you please smile for me?
8. Hey, somebody farted. Lets get out of here!
9. You’ve got the whitest teeth I have ever seen!
10. Excuse me, but what pick up line works best for you?
11. Hi, what’s a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?
12. Hi, can I buy you a car?
13. Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I please borrow yours?
14. Do you have a boyfriend?
No?! Well do you want one?
Oh, you do? Well, when you want a MANfriend, come talk to me!
15. Can I have directions?… to your heart?
16. For a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me.
17. Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
18. Hey, don’t I know you? Yah, you’re that girl with the beautiful smile!
19. You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You’re making the other women look really bad.
20. Hi, you’re cute!
21. Hi, are you legal? No, your to hot to be legal.
22. I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.
23. You know, girls like you give guys like me a reason to live.
24. Even the word Chicka-mama doesn’t describe you! -
25. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
26. Nice socks, can I try them on? +
27. Can I carry your books?
28. Your father must be a drug dealer, cuz you dope!
29. Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth!
30. Your dad must be an awsome baker, because you have rad buns!
31. You know, if I could rearange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.
32. Out of curiosity, were you born on a plane? cuz baby, you’re FLY!
33. Hey, what are the chances of a guy like me, picking up a girl like you? +
34. Hi, do you dig guys who use cheesy pick up lines? +
35. Hi, will you reject me if I try and pick you up? +
36. I advise you to surrender imediately or I’ll have to use a pick up line. -
37. If I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! -
38. It’s a good thing I brought my gloves today, other wise you’d be too hot to handle! -
39. Yesterday, I found this magic lamp and I asked the genie to let you to fall in love with me… did it work? -
40. Is your name Gellete? cuz your the best a man can get.
41. So I heard you got the hots for me!
42. Hey, I know you, yah, you’re that girl in the supermarket looking for the jamacan banana! +
43. That’s amazing! You’re eyes are the exact same color as my porche!
44. Are you tired? cuz you’ve been running around in my mind all day!
45. I know milk does a body bood, but how much have you been drinking?!!!!!
46. Are those space pants? cuz your legs are out of this world!
47. It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I’m checkin’ you out!
48. Hey good lookin’, what’s cookin’?
49. See these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! +
50. Reproducing, eh? Mind if I help? (ya kinda need to be at a copy maching for this one)
51. Do you mind if I stare at you up close, instead of from across the room?
52. Hey baby, got any cavities?
53. If I asked you…… would you marry me? +
54. I got a word for you in my secret language, it’s Chicka-mama! -
55. I’ll see you later, I have to pick up my new porche.
56. Are you a model? =
57. Do you want to come over? My mom wants to be the first one to meet the girl of my dreams! +
58. I’m a stud, not a dud! =
59. Hey, I’m writing a love letter to you, how exactly do you spell BEAUTIFUL? +
60. My heart combination is LOVE! =
61. Wanna get married in the temple? (you sort of have to be Mormons to use this one)
62. My pits say, you smell good! =
63. If it startd to rain, would you come under my unbrella? +
64. Hey, is it hot in here, or it that just you?
65. Am I hot or what?
66. You are beautiful in every language! +
67. If beauty were measured in seconds, you’d be an hour!
68. I thought I’d come over and say hello before you caught me staring.
69. Was it love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
70. So are you ever going to talk to me, or were you just going to continue to stare?
71. You have the academic look I just lust after.
72. You’re cute! Mind if I use you so I can impress my friends?
73. Can I buy you a soda, or do you just want the money?
74. I’ve got a thirst baby, and you smell like my Gatoraid!
75. Nice boots, want a meaningful relationship?
76. What? Do you want one of us to come over there and bite you are something?
77. Hey, I’m bored. Entertain me and I’ll buy you a root beer.
78. You look like the type of girl that has heard every line in the book, so what’s one more?
79. Hi, the voices in my head tole me to come over and talk to you.
80. Hi, all my friend call me sheldon. +
81. Hey, I’m in a rock band! +
82. Hey honey, I got money!
83. Are you Sweadish? cuz you’re the sweetish girl I’ve met!
- or - cuz you’re the sweetish fish in the sea!
84. Excuse me, but you owe me a soda! cuz when i saw how beautiful you were, I dropped mine.
85. How are you? ["Fine"] Darn right you are.
86. My name is Peter Pan, cuz I can take you to Never Never Land.
87. I’m gonna follow you home.
88. You are a cruel thief, cuz you stole my heart!
89. If I followed you home, would you keep me?
90. Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes.
91. Are you O.K.? because it’s a long fall from heaven.
92. I’m sorry, I’m an artist and it’s my job to stare at beautiful women!
93. Hey, I’m a professional wrestler, can I get ya in a headlock? Don’t worry, I get paid to do this! +
94. I know I don’t look like much now, but I’m drinking milk.
95. What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
96. You must be from Tennassee! Because you are the only TEN I see!
97. Yo baby, gimme yo digits! +
98. You know what I think? I think that it is about time you stop ignoring me. Let’s say we engage in a meaningless conversation… +
99. Hey, can you do me a HUGE favour!? Ask me on a date in front of my friend over there? +
100. Do you alway wear your shoes over your socks?
101. See my friend over there? (he waves sheepishly from afar) Well, he wants to know if you think I’m cute!

32 lines to get sugar

1. I bet you a dollar I can kiss you without touching you. (kiss) Here’s your dollar.
2. Hey, what would you do if I kissed you right now?!!
3. Hey, normaly I charge girls when they kiss me, but for you I’ll make an exeption. -
4. Kiss me if I’m wrong but haven’t we met before?
5. Wanna get some pizza and KISS?… No!? you don’t like pizza?!!
6. So hey, I hear you’re a great kisser. +
7. Do you like peanut butter? Do you want to kiss?
8. Do you want to play spin the bottle? Come on! +
9. Did you know that kissing prolongs life? +
10. Doesn’t this musick make you want to kiss? +
11. My friend bet me ten bucks you wouldn’t kiss me, so lets say I give you half and you do.
12. Do you want to dance? No?! Then I guess kissing is out of the question, eh?
13. If I were elvis, would you kiss me?
14. Here’s the deal, give me a kiss and if I don’t like it, I swear I’ll give you a full refund. +
15. If you kiss me, I promise to stop bugging you.
16. Hey baby, how about some kissing lessons? I’m a professional amateur! ^+
17. Yo mama, how about some lip wrestling? ^
18. Is it cold in here, or are you just afraid to kiss me? +
19. If I was the last man on Earth, I bet you would kiss me in public!
20. Hey, you wanna know what I heard about you? Kiss me and I’ll tell you.
21. Hey, my lips can dance just as good as me! let’s kiss! +
22. i’m usually better looking! give me a kiss and i’ll turn into a prince!
23. hugs are for wusses, give me a kiss! +
24. i’ll give you 10 bucks if you kiss me right now in front of my friend over there!
25. Do you believe in obeying the scriptures? read this… (2 corinthians 13:12) +
26. hey girls, each of you pick a number between 1 & 100. you win! (kiss the girl who’s the hottest and run) +%
27. Didn’t anyone tell you that you wanted to kiss me?!?! I thought you knew???
28. Kiss me if I am wrong, but you want to go out with me, don’t you…
29. Kiss me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name… ?
30. Hi, I’m not trying to pressure you, I don’t want to kiss without mutual consent; but by the way, you have my consent, don’t worry!
31. My lips are registered weapons. Watch out, cuz your on my wanted list!
32. I am a magical being, I command you to kiss me. NOW! (stretch your arms out and wiggle your fingers)

Even More Pick Up Lines

1) Hello, you caught my attention but I’m in the middle of a conversation with an old friend of mine. Let me buy you a soda now, and I’ll be back in a few minutes because I’d really like to meet you!
2) Hey baby, wanna wrestle? +
3) I’m not Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you like!
4) I’d walk a million miles to see one of your smiles.
5) Hey, if i wistled at you, would you stop and talk to me??? +
6) You can’t be sisters! That’s not fair to the rest of the family trees to have 2 peices of fruit as beautiful as you. +
7) Hey, how old do you think i am? +
8) Hey, can i write a song about you? I will call it, “to the love of my life… you are so beautiful!” +
9) Hey, can i butt into your personal life? +
10) Do you think i have a chance with you? +
11) Hey, what’s your name? Wow! Did you know what the ancient greek translation for your name is? Your name means… “Godess of Beauty!” +
12) Did you want to go out with me, or do you just get a kick out of playing hard to get? +
13) Hey, my email address is: “sheldon@studly_and_available.com”. +
14) Hey, can i buy you some flowers? +
15) Hey babalicious, are you chewable… i mean available? +
16) Are your hands cold? +
17) Wanna see my socks? +
18) Do you have even the slightest idea of how beautiful you are? +
19) Do you always have to look this good?! You are driving me bananas! +
20) I bit the last girl who turned “me” down! +
21) Why are you ignoring me? You haven’t said a word to me all day! +
22) (Give them a flower) “I just wanted to show this flower how beautiful you are!”
23) Hey, my dentist says i have perfect theeth! (you need milk duds caught in your teeth for this one to work!) +
24) Who are you waiting for? … are you sure you aren’t waiting for me??? +
25) It’s girls like you that make days like this, all the more beautiful! +
26) So uh, … what um… are you, uh… doing on uhm… you know … like on Saturday night?
27) Would you like to help me with my self esteem?
28) I am looking for someone with a good head on their shoulders. I just hate necks.
29) Excuse me, but … would you like to see my collection of curly nose hairs?
30) Are you religious? Good, because I’m the answer to your prayers.
31) Are those space pants??? Because your buns are out of this world!
32) Do you want to dance? No? NO! i said you look fat in those pants!
33) Achoo! Sorry, i must be alergic to your good looks!
34) If beauty were a drop of water, you’d be an ocean!
35) Man, you sure are easy on the eyes!
36) You’re walkin’ like you want a boyfriend! so… want one?
37) Hey, open your mouth! i just want to see if you are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside! +
38) do you have stars on your underwear? becuase your butt is out of this world!
39) Your good looks are lethal! you’re killing me! +
40) Do you have a license to kill? becuase your good looks are killing me! +
41) Even if you were a cactus, i would still want to hug you! +
42) So hey, your friend told me you got the hots for me… i think she’s right! +
43) Hey, here’s the signals: thumbs up it’s good, thumbs down it’s bad. here’s the plan: you stay right here, don’t take off on me! i’m gonna go over there behind that bush, and when you see me pop my head out, give me the signal wether you would go on a date with me or not, k? see you soon! +
44) hey, wanna hold the preisthood?
45) i get so frustrated when hot chicks like you only look as far as the surface, cant you see my inner beauty??? +
46) i dont have time for long goodbyes… so here. (hug and run!)%
47) i dont have time for those lame cheezy pickuplines, so i’ll just say your one hot mama! %+
48) quick call 9-11, ther’s about to be a crime committed (hug and run) hug and run, hug and run! +
49) sorry for what i’m about to do. (hug and run)%
50) i hope you dont take any offence to this but… (hug and run)%
51) whats your name? oh thats nice, i’ll probly never see you again, so… (hug and run)+%
52) pick a number between 1 and 101. (say the pick up line they choose) +
53) wanna see a magic trick? i can dissapear real fast, watch! close your eyes… (hug and run) +
54) hey wanna go on a date? (put a date on ground, pick her up in your arms [pick a hot chick, preferably skinny] and stand on the date.) how long do you want to be on this date for? +
55) ever since i was a kid, my mom has taught me the importance of household chores, the most useful chore she ever taught me was how to sweep. because now as i’ve gotten older… and wiser, i can now sweep girls off there feet! (pick up the girl but do not drop her) +
56) you’re lucky good looks dont start fires, becuase you could burn down a forest! +
57) i’m gonna cry, quick, hold me! ha ha ha +
58) hey, i’ve got something for you (when they open there hand, hold it)
59) you are too pretty for words!
60) Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
61) Hey you’re in my seat!
62) Do you have any raisins?’
“No I don’t.”
‘You don’t have any raisins? Well then, how about a date?’
63) I saw you at the party last weekend and you look kind of interesting. Let’s meet sometime.
64) Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
65) Hey, if I wistled at you, would you stop and talk to me? +
66) Hey, lucky you… it’s National Hug Day! (hug and run) +
67) If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
68) My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love!
69) So there you are! I’ve been looking all over for YOU, the girl of my dreams!
70) Stand still so I can pick you up!
71) Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?
72) Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?
73) [Grab her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
74) Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I’m lost at sea
75) Your name must be Mickey because your so fine.
76) You’re daddy must be a hunter because he sure caught a fox!
77) Can you say constantinople backwards? Me neither, but I just wanted to ask. (elponitnatsnoc)
78) Can you spell ICUP? “I-C-U-P” You saw me pee?!?!? (laugh profusely)
79) I am very, very lonely, and I was wonderin’…
80) would you like to help me with my self esteam?
81) would you go on a date with me sometime?
82) You are just truly absolutely beautiful!
83) If you were a booger I’d pick you first.
84) Your name is Sandra, huh? Can I call you Sandy? Really? what’s your phone number, and what time can I call? are you sure boys are allowed to call you???
85) Are my undies showing? “No.” Would you like them to?
86) Hey, are you one of those chicks who goes out with guys right off the bat? ‘Cause that’s what I’m looking for.
87) Congratulations! You’ve been voted “Most Beautiful Girl In This Room” and the grand prize is a date with me!
88) Hey, I need your help! My mom says that if I don’t get a date by tomorrow, she’s putting me up for adoption! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease…
89) Hey, check these out! (flex your bicepts) +
90) Your hands look cold. Do you want me to warm them up?
91) Girl, you so fine! I wish I could plant you and grow a hole field of you!
92) Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
93) I think I can die happy now, ‘cause I’ve just seen a piece of heaven.
94) Baby, you’re so sweet, you gonna put Hershey’s outta business!
95) I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
96) Is it hot in here or is it just you?
97) Nice to meet you, I’m Sheldon and you’re Gorgeous!
98) You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
99) So, what do you do for a living besides making guys excited and warm all over?
100) Were your parents Greek Gods? ’cause it takes two Gods to make a Goddess!
101) What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
102) What’s that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty… Here, let me get it off. Hey, it’s not coming off???
103) Ya know, you are really hot! You must be the real reason for global warming.
104) Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. “What?” (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP!
105) Hi, my name is Sheldon, how do you like me so far?
106) Chicks dig me. I wear colored undywear.
107) Hey, wanna take me out for ice cream sometime??? +
108) Hey, you’re the cosine of an isosolece triangle and i’m a tangent on the same side of the transversal! +
109) i’m gonna put this blind fold on, ok? and now i’m gonna sing you a song, and if you are still standing (or sitting) there when i’m done singing and I take the blind fold off, then that means that either you like my singing, or else you think i’m a hot stud and you want a date with me. ok, here I go… today i’m gonna be singing, “someone’s in the kitchen with Dina”

Doubt is the beginning of wisdom. BUT Faith will move mountains.

Silence is golden. BUT The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

Too many cooks spoil the broth. BUT Many hands make light work.

Slow and steady wins the race BUT Time waits for no man

What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. BUT One man’s meat is another man’s poison.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. BUT Out of sight, out of mind.

The pen is mightier than the sword. BUT Actions speak louder than words.

Wise men think alike. BUT Fools seldom differ.

The best things in life are free BUT There’s no such thing as a free lunch

Look before you leap BUT Strike while the iron is hot

Do it well, or not at all. BUT Half a loaf is better than none.

Birds of a feather flock together. BUT Opposites attract.

Don’t cross your bridges before you come to them. BUT Forewarned is forearmed.

Great starts make great finishes. BUT It ain’t over ’till it’s over.

Practice makes perfect. BUT All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

You’re never too old to learn. BUT You can’t teach an old dog new tricks

Hold fast to the words of your ancestors. BUT Wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them.

All good things come to those who wait. BUT Time and tide wait for no man.

There always exist two sides of the same coin! U be the judge..

Every Action has an equal and an opposite reaction? Similarly, every proverb has an equal and an opposite proverb!

A Brit woman, who discovered a live unborn hare in a dead rabbit, has raised the leveret by keeping it in her bra.

Cherida Cannon recalls how her labrador Teal chased and killed a hare, and she decided to make a nice meal out of it.

She says that the hare turned out to be pregnant, and its unborn baby’s heart was still beating.

“The hare was so beautiful; I just couldn’t bare to throw her away. I thought she’d make a nice meal so started gutting her,” the Telegraph quoted Cannon, as saying.

It was her cleaner, Tina Rhodes, who noticed the unborn baby, while gutting the rabbit.

“I rubbed its chest and blew on it and dried it with a towel, then suddenly it opened its eyes and begun cleaning itself,” said Rhodes.

According to the Daily Telegraph, Rhodes sister Margi Heath, of Upper Farringdon was made the caretaker of the orphaned creature, now known as Miracle, who fed it with a baby formula with a syringe.

“She stayed indoors with me. I put her in my bra to keep her warm, else she would have died. I slept with her and every time she was hungry she popped her head up,” said Heath.

Miracle is now three months old and still growing.

“She’s quite tame now. She has a lead we use to walk her with, and lets people stroke her, though she can tell if someone is a stranger,” said Heath.

“I took her out and about with me so much, and even took her to local schools so the children can see her,” she added.

Over 1.2 billion people, wildly varying cultures, levels of wealthand religions, 61 years since declaring its Independence from English rule, modern India is still defining itself, sometimes against the friction inside and outside of its borders. Recent newsworthy events in India include vast Monsoon flooding, conflicts in still-disputed Kashmir, and religious clashes between Hindus and Christians - and celebrations conducted by Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Sikh and and more. Though there’s no possible way for these images to be comprehensive, here are some recent
[ photos of scenes in India.

View: [ Scenes From India ]

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer.

Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.”

The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want.”

The Lord said, “Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me.”

The man thought about it for a long time.

Finally he said, “Lord, I wish that I could understand my girl friend. I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing’s wrong, and how I can make a woman truly Happy.”

The Lord replied, “You want 2 lanes or 4 lanes on that bridge?”

World wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:

“Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?”  

The survey was a huge failure, In Africa they didn’t know what ‘food’ meant, In India they didn’t know what ‘honest’ meant, In Europe they didn’t know what ’shortage’ meant, In China they didn’t know what ‘opinion’ meant, In the Middle East they didn’t know what ’solution’ meant, In South America they didn’t know what ‘please’ meant, And in the USAthey didn’t know what ‘the rest of the world’ meant! .

Worth reading………….. and giving it a thought as well ……….

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor.  

Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.  

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.  

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: “If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and were eyeing each other’s cups.  

Now if life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn’t change. Some times, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it.”

Don’t let the cups drive you… Enjoy the coffee instead

Ramayana - narrated by a American teenage dude… Do read it………………….

A young second generation Indian in the US was asked by his mother to explain the significance of “Diwali” to his younger brother, this is how he went about it…

“So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or something… Since he was going,
for like, something like more than 10 years or so.. he decided to get his wife and his bro along… you know…so that they could all chill out together.

But Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary shit… really man…they had monkeys and devils and shit like that. But
this dude, Ram, kicked with darts and bows and arrows… so it was fine.

But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, was our man, and also his bro, Laxman, pissed….. all the gods were with him… So anyways, you don’t mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro get an army of monkeys.. Dude, don’t ask me how they trained the damn monkeys… just go along with me, ok…

so, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta’s ass in his own hood.
Anyways, by this time, their time’s up in the forest..and anyways…it gets kinda boring,you know… no TV or malls or shit like that. So,they decided to hitch a ride back home… and when the people realize that our dude, his bro and the wife are back home… they thought, well, you know, at least they deserve something nice… and they didn’t have any bars or clubs in those days… so they couldn’t take
them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke and shit…and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps also… so it was pretty cooool…
you know with all those fireworks… Really, they even had some local band play along with the fireworks… and you know, what, dude, that was the very first, no kidding.., that was the very first music-synchronized fireworks… you know, like the 4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff, you know. And, so dude, that was how, like, this festival started.”